It’s been a while.
It hasn’t been a while since I logged in. I have about 45 drafts sitting around. It’s been a while since I actually finished writing and actually posted something.
So let’s see what life has thrown at me.
1. My husband’s last day at his job he has had for six years is Thursday.
2. I had such a bad sinus infection I missed three days of work and might have to have surgery in six months.
3. I have to magically come up with the $800 for daycare April 1 and our loans won’t come in till at least April 12.
4. I have come to realize the friends I had before having a child have all but disappeared.
So where does this leave me. I am so stress about not having the money for bills that I can’t sleep at night. I’m living off of coffee and energy drinks. I have no one that I can sit down and talk to besides my two year old and my husband who happen to be the two people I live with so go figure. My house looks like a disaster area (not really but I have OCD so to me it does). I’ll probably write more now since this is pretty much the only way I have to get how I’m feeling out before it consumes me and I become depressed. I will do everything in my power before I let that happen and put my daughter and Husband threw that.
Tags: Annoyed, Anxious, depression, lessons, life, OCD, Rants, Stress, Wife
So as I’m looking around my apartment this weekend noticing all the things I need to do I realized something. I am so not a 1950’s house wife. I spend ninety percent of my time in yoga pants or pajama pants and a t-shirt or hoodie. My laundry goes unfolded for days and my living room looks like a tornado hit it after my daughter is done playing for the days. I don’t do the dishes after every meal and I truly HATE dusting
There are times where after washing three loads of laundry (we live in an apartment so we don’t have the option of doing laundry everyday) I just look at it and say nope. It sometimes sits there until ether we have reused it all or it annoys me to much so I put it all away. While standing there this week end looking at what seemed like a never ending pile I thought about my great grandmother who had eleven kids and my grandmother who had seven kids.
My grandmother was a 1950’s house wife. Her house always clean. Cloths were put away and the kitchen was spotless. Bathrooms never had any stains or soap marks and could never tell if the breakables were ever moved because was not a speck of dust in the house. How with seven daughters and a husband who spent one hundred percent of his time on a tractor she managed to do that blows my mind.
After my daughter being up and playing for eight to ten hours my house looks like a Kansas twister went threw it. Toy bins knocked over and pony’s tucked in the couch cushions or thrown out the back door. Yes my husband and I both work full time. Yes some days all I want to do is come home and sleep. Never, ever will I understand or comprehend how my Grandmother kept her house looking like a museum/model home. With seven daughters and fourteen grandchildren how did she do it. I never saw a duster. I never saw a vacuum (except Christmas). I never saw cleaner. Yet everyday I showed up at her house it was perfect. She never looked wore out. She never looked like she had spent the night cleaning she was always done up and perfect looking. 
How someone who has an army or children and also has a house that looks like model home and still look like a runway model mom amazes me. Some days I’m lucky to brush my hair. Makeup is a yep not happening and a dress and heels is just not in the picture. Yet my grandmother always, I mean always had all of these things done. Makeup was never smeared. Hair was never out of place and for damn sure her dress never had a wrinkle in it. Also she still had time to sow and make blankets, Barbie cloths and kids cloths. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE? Some days I’m lucky to even put a bra on under my hoodie.
Growing up we had breakfast, lunch and dinner at the kitchen or dining room table EVERY day at 7am, 12pm and 6pm. It was always full meals with a little bit of everything from the food pyramid. She had an amazing table in both room. Both tables had extensional so if there was a ton of people there was still room for them. The three of us live in a one bedroom apartment and I have and adult folding table and a children’s folding table. Some days I’m lucky to be awake enough to give her three groups on the food pyramid. Some days it’s nuggets and some fruit for dinner.
Now all of these things I’m complaining about I understand are my own doing and if I tried harder I could probably do the exact same thing she did, but some days it takes effort to just wake up after only four hours of sleep. I give props to all the 1950s moms and housewives. You managed to do things I couldn’t dream of. I truly am not a 1950s house wife.
Tags: adult, cleaning, dishes, family, feelings, grandparents, home, Housewife, laundry, lessons, life, Married, People, random, Rants, Sleep, Wife
So I forgot some of my amazing “TEAM” that I was ever so amazingly reminded of at three am today.
We have one, let me say again ONE store that is open twenty-four/seven. Our Russian Auntie has been working this shift for about two hundred years and even though she gets annoyed still enjoys and comes in for this shift.
Now that being said we have had two people in the year I have been her actually stick around and kinda work the shift. Ponytail Pothead and Nerdy Pothead have both worked this shift. Ponytail offered to work this when Lazy decided she “Wanted something better” and left. That’s is a whole different can of worms. Many, many people were hired and quit because “Overnights are just to hard”. I was manager overnight at a twenty-four/seven fast food joint with only two people. These people have no idea what work is. Anyway Nerdy Pothead was hired.
Now Nerdy was hired to work overnights. That is the EXACT shift he was hired for. After working maybe a week he decided that overnights were just a horrible thing and it was to hard to do anything. Fast forward to today. He has been working mid and closing shifts and someone was hired to work the overnight. Well once again this person (who I have never met so they get the name No Name. Yes from Game of Throne. Once again a whole mother can of worms) quit because the job was “Just to hard”. Nerdy is just “at his breaking point” from being jerked around and not getting off overnights one hundred percent. All I can think is it’s what you were hired for. You knew what it was about coming in.
Seriously I’m so confused. Why would you take a job just to bitch and complain about it everyday. If you hate it that much quit. The “TEAM” will get over it and find a better fit. They do all the time.
Tags: adult, airport, Annoyed, co-workers, early, feelings, lessons, life, People, Rants, waking up, Work
I really don’t get it. I assumed every grown adult knew that even though you were hired for a certain job at some point you would be doing more of or something different during your time there.
As I’ve said before I have an easy job. Some days I don’t feel like doing my job. Some days I bust my ass and do things that are not in my job requirements. No matter how I feel when I come to work or when I call in I know what my job is and what they expect. That being said I seriously don’t understand some of the people I work with.
Needle Point has been talking about looking for a different job because “I wasn’t hired to do all this. Somedays I’m doing your job. Today I’m doing Grey’s job. I’m not getting paid enough to be doing all this.” Shit none of us get paid enough to put up with half the shit we do. This is still the easiest job there is. Yes his job is harder and he does more and I get that, but raises to happen as long as you work hard and the bosses see it.
Mr and Mrs Smile have been here for a hundred years. Mr Smile was talking about leaving because he is annoyed with people he works with for not doing their job and nothing happening to them. Mrs Smile told him to chill a couple more years and retirement is there. So thank god they are both staying, but for him to bring this up is the scary fact that longterm people are annoyed also.
Grey called in once again and even though I love him to death there is a point in which you have to realize this is a job. I totally understand being sick I really do. I have been totally miserable and had to come in. If you see that you have spent more days calling in then actually being at work 1. There might be the fear of losing your job 2. Maybe you should look for something that isn’t going to stress you out so much your sick all the time. Grey is liked by everyone except for the fact he is gone so much.
We have a group of people where I work who bring stuff up and make it look pretty in the store and I’m pretty sure not a single one of them ACTUALLY talks to the other. Fanny Pack complains people aren’t doing this. Mrs Best complains she is the only one that does this.
Jock and Clueless have to two of the most unemployee (that’s a Giggles word I have many) managers I have ever met. Some of the people don’t even know their names. The only time I actually see Jock is when people go on vacation and he actually has to come upstairs. Clueless at least goes to each store a couple times a week. Jock acts like he is god walking on water when he comes upstairs. Dude until I see you actually physically do something in the store there is no high horse you need to ride. If clueless would actually listen sometimes he would realize more of what’s going on with things.
Galby is the one who ACTUALLY runs things and gets things done. Oh do people bitch. “I can’t believe the people he hires” “He hires in bulk, not quality” “Why is he making us do this and that. We never cared before” “I don’t see why we have to ask that it’s not actually our job” “Why does this person have more hours” I really truly wonder if ANY of these people understand what being a boss and/or manager is like. I was one. I had to deal with all the lazy, bitchy and grumpy people. I had to deal with the I can’t work this this and this, but I need forty hours blah blah blah. The fact that he hasn’t actually blown up on someone totally amazes me. He is doing his job and his bosses job and sometimes his coworkers job, but never does he say “OMG I wasn’t hired for this” Now I will admit there are times he is grumpy and demanding. On those days I do my job and go home because he is the boss and pissing off the boss is not my highest goals.
I think all the No Call/No show teenagers are all gone which is amazing. They were draining the life out of this place. Forever people like Old Grace Kelly were talking about leaving if things didn’t get better. Now Forever people have been her so long I’m pretty sure they watched the first planes take off and most of them are so set in their ways the Digital people confuse them, but still having been here so long always complaining when things get bad and not actually changing things or being willing to change helps no one and also ruins and drains the life out of this place also.
Now I am not a saint. There are days I don’t do my job. There are days I do things I’m not supposed to. I have my faults just like everyone else, but I also understand this is a job. This job keeps a roof over my daughter’s head and food in her belly. So yes I may have been hired for one thing, but am also willing to do another.
Tags: adult, airport, Annoyed, co-workers, drama, feelings, lessons, life, People, Rants, Work
As of January 3rd I have been at my place of employment a full year. I had planned on writing this on the 3rd, but I was sick and it just wasn’t happening.
In the year I have been here I have seen so many things. I have seen people doing things they shouldn’t. I have seen people doing more then they should. I have seen people get acknowledged for good and bad. I have become friends with people I never thought I would and had disagreements with them also.
At this job I get sick pay, holiday pay and vacation pay. All of which I am not used to. I have been working since I was 14 and this is one of the first jobs that actual fallows the rules and takes care of their people.
I have an easy job stock, clean, fold shirts and ring people up. It is one of the simplest jobs I have ever worked. And since I now have a two year old I am perfectly fine with it. In thirty years when I retire I will have a retirement fund and I never ever dreamed of that.
Working this job my daughter is taken care of. My house bills are paid and we finally may be able to build our credit enough to actually buy a house.
All of the teenagers (and some adults) that complain “Oh we don’t get paid enough” and “Oh this job is just to hard for me” I am so confused by. Yes I could go get a job that pays more, but I’m 90% sure I would hate it. I’ve been a manager and I’ve worked in a wearhouse and call center. I have hated each of those jobs and they stress me out.
After a year I have seen the ups and downs. For now I’m gonna stay and focus on building a future. Here’s to another 29 (or so) years.
Tags: adult, airport, anniversary, co-workers, family, Goal, happy, lessons, life, retirement, Work
I went to the dentist yesterday and he prescribed me Vicodin. I am unable to pick them up till Friday so instead I took one of the Oxycontin I got when I was pregnant two years ago. I then went to LaLa Land.
Now when I was in my twenties I took any pill i could get my hand on and also drank myself stupid. I don’t remember most of my twenties. What I do remember doesn’t always make me proud.
I will admit I do have a back problem and that causes me to have to take many medications. However I will also admit when I was younger I would abuse that fact just to get different medications.
I have probably tried every kind of narcotic you can name or think of. I have also tried or taken many drugs that you’re not supposed to be taking.
Oxy and V take you to LaLa land and I pass out.
Mushrooms make the world fuzzy.
X (pretty sure it wasn’t real) just made my heart race
Coke (yes that one) I had amazing sex, but that’s all I even remember about using it
Weed (won’t touch it any more) just made me feel funny
There has also been many other actual prescribed medications (to many to count) and all of them make me feel fuzzy.
We did find a nerve relaxer that finally has worked and does not turn me into mush.
The point of what I am wanting to say is I do not understand how people pop pills and take drugs 1. after having kids 2. for extended periods 3. so many different kids at once.
I have a small tiny person and I even hate taking NyQuil when I am with her because something will happen and I won’t be able to take care of her. When I take medications for longer than 2 days I feel like I have lost two months. Mixing drugs is even worse. I tend to lose time, sometimes even days.
I get that people feel lost and feel like drugs are the only thing that helps and are the only thing that will keep them floating, but that so isn’t true. All they need is someone to help or to find them even. I can’t even began to think about what I would be like if I had kept taking drugs and drinking the way I was. I didn’t care about life or myself I just wanted the next rush of nothing. Now all I want is the next smile from my daughter.
Tags: Fuzzy, life, Medication, Narcotics, NoFun, PoppingPills, Scary, Stupid, Toothache, Younger
To start out I work in an airport and I truly love my job. Now I know some people just say that, but I actually do. I look forward to going in the morning and I am actually interested in how things are changing.
Now with that being said the moment people hit the front door. Not even past security, I mean just the front glass doors. It’s like all the brain power they normally have in their every day lives is gone.
Passenger 1 “Where are the restrooms?”
Me “Right over there next to that store”
Now we have HUGE signs that say this, but nope never fails they ask.
Passenger 2 “Where is the exit?”
Me “Right over there”
Once again we have HUGE signs that say this.
Passenger 3 “Are there places to eat here?”
Me “Yes right that way”
Nope not at all just HUGE signs that say food that way.
Passenger 4 “I have a problem with my ticket. Is there someone you can get ahold of for me?”
Me “I’m sorry you will have to talk to someone at &$;&(@:! counter”
No where on anything does it say I can help with any airline problems.
There are so many more stories and questions. Maybe in 30 years when I retire I will write a book on every braindead thing people say, ask or do at the airport.
I get that flying is stressful and I get that things get messed up, but seriously all it takes is 5 seconds to look and pay attention to your surroundings. Maybe it’s because I have been traveling since I was born, but it has never crossed my mind to belittle the people who work at the airport because I’m in a pissy mood.
Like I stated only the braindead travel because I almost guaranty they same person who is an braindead jerk at the airport is nothing like that in the real world. Yes there may be some who are and they know they are, but most are not, it’s just the airport. The airport truly turns the best of em braindead.
Tags: Airports, Annoyed, Early Morning Thoughts, life, Morons, People, Rants, Work
Nothing is ever equal
One is expected to pay their own way
One gets everything handed to them
One suffers with nothing
One has everything
One must walk
One gets a ride
One must fight to move forward
One slides on by
One gets more because of what’s between their legs
One gets none
One begs for food
One throws it away
One is judged for who they love
One loves who they want
One is looked down on because of color
One gets a free ride because of theirs
One is hated because of nationality
One is loved and does nothing
One is hated because of their beliefs
One is praised, but believes in hate
Double standards are a part of us. They are inside of everyone. We may not show it, we may not say it, but every single one of us has been hurt by it or has done it ourselves. Whether we like it or not it’s how we are raised. All we do is move forward and educate the next generation on having an open mind and maybe, just maybe there will be a little less
DOUBLE STANDARDS
Tags: Annoyed, Anxious, feelings, freedom, Goal, happy, hate, judgement, lessons, life, People, random, Rants, rent, scared, standards, Stressed, worried
Laying here 8 1/2 months pregnant I realize something.
Soon your smile will brighten my day.
Soon your fingers will wrap around mine.
Soon your laugh will echo off the walls.
At first being pregnant seemed like a dream that I didn’t think was real. There was so why I was really making a person. As the months went by and we slowly got your stuff it slowly started to become real. Now when I see you moving and feel your hiccups I just sit here in awe because you are real and you will be here soon.
Am I gonna be a good mom? Who know, but I’m gonna try.
Am I going to do the right thing? Probably not, but we will learn from it.
I don’t know how life is going to be, but I do know I am grateful to have you in mine.
Mommy loves you Osa Lurenda 💝💖💕
Tags: baby, excited, first time mom, life, pregnant, scared
Walking down the road I thought
Walking down the road I laughed
Walking down the road I cried
Walking down the road I died
Just sometime to think, to ponder what is, was and will be
Just sometime to laugh at things that need to be laughed at
Just sometime to cry your eyes out without someone watching
Just sometime to die a million times and come back free
A walk is always what is needed
Tags: crying, death, freedom, happy, laughing, life, sad, walking
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