Stress to the point of sickness

It’s been a while.

It hasn’t been a while since I logged in. I have about 45 drafts sitting around. It’s been a while since I actually finished writing and actually posted something.

So let’s see what life has thrown at me.

1. My husband’s last day at his job he has had for six years is Thursday.

2. I had such a bad sinus infection I missed three days of work and might have to have surgery in six months.

3. I have to magically come up with the $800 for daycare April 1 and our loans won’t come in till at least April 12.

4. I have come to realize the friends I had before having a child have all but disappeared.

So where does this leave me. I am so stress about not having the money for bills that I can’t sleep at night. I’m living off of coffee and energy drinks. I have no one that I can sit down and talk to besides my two year old and my husband who happen to be the two people I live with so go figure. My house looks like a disaster area (not really but I have OCD so to me it does). I’ll probably write more now since this is pretty much the only way I have to get how I’m feeling out before it consumes me and I become depressed. I will do everything in my power before I let that happen and put my daughter and Husband threw that.


Posted by on March 23, 2018 in Family, Friends, home, Life, Married Life


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So not a 1950’s house wife

So as I’m looking around my apartment this weekend noticing all the things I need to do I realized something. I am so not a 1950’s house wife. I spend ninety percent of my time in yoga pants or pajama pants and a t-shirt or hoodie. My laundry goes unfolded for days and my living room looks like a tornado hit it after my daughter is done playing for the days. I don’t do the dishes after every meal and I truly HATE dusting

There are times where after washing three loads of laundry (we live in an apartment so we don’t have the option of doing laundry everyday) I just look at it and say nope. It sometimes sits there until ether we have reused it all or it annoys me to much so I put it all away. While standing there this week end looking at what seemed like a never ending pile I thought about my great grandmother who had eleven kids and my grandmother who had seven kids.

My grandmother was a 1950’s house wife. Her house always clean. Cloths were put away and the kitchen was spotless. Bathrooms never had any stains or soap marks and could never tell if the breakables were ever moved because was not a speck of dust in the house. How with seven daughters and a husband who spent one hundred percent of his time on a tractor she managed to do that blows my mind.

After my daughter being up and playing for eight to ten hours my house looks like a Kansas twister went threw it. Toy bins knocked over and pony’s tucked in the couch cushions or thrown out the back door. Yes my husband and I both work full time. Yes some days all I want to do is come home and sleep. Never, ever will I understand or comprehend how my Grandmother kept her house looking like a museum/model home. With seven daughters and fourteen grandchildren how did she do it. I never saw a duster. I never saw a vacuum (except Christmas). I never saw cleaner. Yet everyday I showed up at her house it was perfect. She never looked wore out. She never looked like she had spent the night cleaning she was always done up and perfect looking. How someone who has an army or children and also has a house that looks like model home and still look like a runway model mom amazes me. Some days I’m lucky to brush my hair. Makeup is a yep not happening and a dress and heels is just not in the picture. Yet my grandmother always, I mean always had all of these things done. Makeup was never smeared. Hair was never out of place and for damn sure her dress never had a wrinkle in it. Also she still had time to sow and make blankets, Barbie cloths and kids cloths. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE? Some days I’m lucky to even put a bra on under my hoodie.

Growing up we had breakfast, lunch and dinner at the kitchen or dining room table EVERY day at 7am, 12pm and 6pm. It was always full meals with a little bit of everything from the food pyramid. She had an amazing table in both room. Both tables had extensional so if there was a ton of people there was still room for them. The three of us live in a one bedroom apartment and I have and adult folding table and a children’s folding table. Some days I’m lucky to be awake enough to give her three groups on the food pyramid. Some days it’s nuggets and some fruit for dinner.

Now all of these things I’m complaining about I understand are my own doing and if I tried harder I could probably do the exact same thing she did, but some days it takes effort to just wake up after only four hours of sleep. I give props to all the 1950s moms and housewives. You managed to do things I couldn’t dream of. I truly am not a 1950s house wife.

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Posted by on February 4, 2018 in home, Life, Married Life


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Your like ten

So where I work we have some people who have been here like a hundred and fifty years. Some of them are amazing and some of them are the “I have worked here so long doing the same thing I don’t believe in change” Well we also get new people in. Now most the time the new people rotate like water. We have a extremely easy job but “I get paid better somewhere else” always comes up.

Back to my point not for the first time and probably not for the last time one of our millennial children that works for us told one of our seasoned veterans HOW TO DO THEIR JOB. Mrs Smile has been her almost twenty years and she is actually one of the amazing ones I work with. Her and Mr Smile have both been here almost twenty years. Yes at the same company and yes they both say this is the worst it has been.

Having new millennials (no you don’t get a name till you have worked here six months) said he needed to go tell these wearhouse guys how to do their job because things weren’t being don’t correctly. Another millennial told Mrs Smile she needed to do something different then how she was stocking and needed to help THEM. One she is not here to do your job for you and second seriously your going to tell ether one of them how to do their job. They could both do their jobs while dancing circles around you and You still couldn’t keep up.

Never in my life was I taught yes tell your elders (no matter how old or how incompetent) how to do their job. One you never know the reason WHY they are doing it that way. Two no matter how incompetent they are older then you and that is insanely disrespectful. Yes I would love to bitch and complain and tell a lot of them they aren’t doing their job, but nope not happening.

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Posted by on January 28, 2018 in co-workers, Life, Work


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Orange in office

So let me be the first to say I truly hate politics and try to ignore them as much as I truly can. That being said I have never seen someone complain and throw a temper tantrum as much as our new orange in office.

He is like the popular kid who won class president in high school, but still had to spend all his time bullying the other kids to make himself feel better.

As much as I dislike politics I have one and only one twitter account that shows up on my phone. Where I work and the job I have I talk to people all day. Now I have to be Switzerland and neutral, but I also have to know what everyone is bitching about when then come threw the airport.

I feel like every morning there is someone or some group that orange in office has to belittle or attach. One week it’s the NFL. One week it’s Europe. This week it’s Jay Z. I don’t know if he wakes up and is like yep this is who I’m gonna argue with today or if he actually thinks about it.

I am from the Midwest and it’s truly the Bible Belt back home. They believe he is a god send and my father and I have had many disagreements about him.

The things that have been accomplished and the good that is being done is NOT, let me repeat NOT because orange in office has been there for 55 weeks (yes Galby I said it). He is a bobble head. Just like the bobble heads they used to put on the dash of your car for amusement. Someone else is behind the scenes actually doing the work and writing the bills and policies.

Do I think he is doing our country any good? No I don’t. Do I think he is going to help our county move forward? No I don’t. Do I think he will be in office two terms? Yes I’m scared he will. Am I worried for my daughter future because of him? Yes I am.

There is nothing anyone can say or show me that proves orange in office was a good choice. A rich white man, who was on reality tv, who has been divorced, who has multiply baby mamas and who has a mail order bride (mind You I actually like her) and who never, mean never has served in our military a day in his life (he is pretty good at dodging it though) is going to improve anything in this country.


Posted by on January 28, 2018 in Life, Politics


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I was hired for……Edit

So I forgot some of my amazing “TEAM” that I was ever so amazingly reminded of at three am today.

We have one, let me say again ONE store that is open twenty-four/seven. Our Russian Auntie has been working this shift for about two hundred years and even though she gets annoyed still enjoys and comes in for this shift.

Now that being said we have had two people in the year I have been her actually stick around and kinda work the shift. Ponytail Pothead and Nerdy Pothead have both worked this shift. Ponytail offered to work this when Lazy decided she “Wanted something better” and left. That’s is a whole different can of worms. Many, many people were hired and quit because “Overnights are just to hard”. I was manager overnight at a twenty-four/seven fast food joint with only two people. These people have no idea what work is. Anyway Nerdy Pothead was hired.

Now Nerdy was hired to work overnights. That is the EXACT shift he was hired for. After working maybe a week he decided that overnights were just a horrible thing and it was to hard to do anything. Fast forward to today. He has been working mid and closing shifts and someone was hired to work the overnight. Well once again this person (who I have never met so they get the name No Name. Yes from Game of Throne. Once again a whole mother can of worms) quit because the job was “Just to hard”. Nerdy is just “at his breaking point” from being jerked around and not getting off overnights one hundred percent. All I can think is it’s what you were hired for. You knew what it was about coming in.

Seriously I’m so confused. Why would you take a job just to bitch and complain about it everyday. If you hate it that much quit. The “TEAM” will get over it and find a better fit. They do all the time.


Posted by on January 8, 2018 in co-workers, Life, Work


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I was hired for………………

I really don’t get it. I assumed every grown adult knew that even though you were hired for a certain job at some point you would be doing more of or something different during your time there.

As I’ve said before I have an easy job. Some days I don’t feel like doing my job. Some days I bust my ass and do things that are not in my job requirements. No matter how I feel when I come to work or when I call in I know what my job is and what they expect. That being said I seriously don’t understand some of the people I work with.

Needle Point has been talking about looking for a different job because “I wasn’t hired to do all this. Somedays I’m doing your job. Today I’m doing Grey’s job. I’m not getting paid enough to be doing all this.” Shit none of us This is still the easiest job there is. Yes his job is harder and he does more and I get that, but raises to happen as long as you work hard and the bosses see it.

Mr and Mrs Smile have been here for a hundred years. Mr Smile was talking about leaving because he is annoyed with people he works with for not doing their job and nothing happening to them. Mrs Smile told him to chill a couple more years and retirement is there. So thank god they are both staying, but for him to bring this up is the scary fact that longterm people are annoyed also.

Grey called in once again and even though I love him to death there is a point in which you have to realize this is a job. I totally understand being sick I really do. I have been totally miserable and had to come in. If you see that you have spent more days calling in then actually being at work 1. There might be the fear of losing your job 2. Maybe you should look for something that isn’t going to stress you out so much your sick all the time. Grey is liked by everyone except for the fact he is gone so much.

We have a group of people where I work who bring stuff up and make it look pretty in the store and I’m pretty sure not a single one of them ACTUALLY talks to the other. Fanny Pack complains people aren’t doing this. Mrs Best complains she is the only one that does this.

Jock and Clueless have to two of the most unemployee (that’s a Giggles word I have many) managers I have ever met. Some of the people don’t even know their names. The only time I actually see Jock is when people go on vacation and he actually has to come upstairs. Clueless at least goes to each store a couple times a week. Jock acts like he is god walking on water when he comes upstairs. Dude until I see you actually physically do something in the store there is no high horse you need to ride. If clueless would actually listen sometimes he would realize more of what’s going on with things.

Galby is the one who ACTUALLY runs things and gets things done. Oh do people bitch. “I can’t believe the people he hires” “He hires in bulk, not quality” “Why is he making us do this and that. We never cared before” “I don’t see why we have to ask that it’s not actually our job” “Why does this person have more hours” I really truly wonder if ANY of these people understand what being a boss and/or manager is like. I was one. I had to deal with all the lazy, bitchy and grumpy people. I had to deal with the I can’t work this this and this, but I need forty hours blah blah blah. The fact that he hasn’t actually blown up on someone totally amazes me. He is doing his job and his bosses job and sometimes his coworkers job, but never does he say “OMG I wasn’t hired for this” Now I will admit there are times he is grumpy and demanding. On those days I do my job and go home because he is the boss and pissing off the boss is not my highest goals.

I think all the No Call/No show teenagers are all gone which is amazing. They were draining the life out of this place. Forever people like Old Grace Kelly were talking about leaving if things didn’t get better. Now Forever people have been her so long I’m pretty sure they watched the first planes take off and most of them are so set in their ways the Digital people confuse them, but still having been here so long always complaining when things get bad and not actually changing things or being willing to change helps no one and also ruins and drains the life out of this place also.

Now I am not a saint. There are days I don’t do my job. There are days I do things I’m not supposed to. I have my faults just like everyone else, but I also understand this is a job. This job keeps a roof over my daughter’s head and food in her belly. So yes I may have been hired for one thing, but am also willing to do another.

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Posted by on January 7, 2018 in co-workers, Life, Work


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January 3rd, plus a couple days

As of January 3rd I have been at my place of employment a full year. I had planned on writing this on the 3rd, but I was sick and it just wasn’t happening.

In the year I have been here I have seen so many things. I have seen people doing things they shouldn’t. I have seen people doing more then they should. I have seen people get acknowledged for good and bad. I have become friends with people I never thought I would and had disagreements with them also.

At this job I get sick pay, holiday pay and vacation pay. All of which I am not used to. I have been working since I was 14 and this is one of the first jobs that actual fallows the rules and takes care of their people.

I have an easy job stock, clean, fold shirts and ring people up. It is one of the simplest jobs I have ever worked. And since I now have a two year old I am perfectly fine with it. In thirty years when I retire I will have a retirement fund and I never ever dreamed of that.

Working this job my daughter is taken care of. My house bills are paid and we finally may be able to build our credit enough to actually buy a house.

All of the teenagers (and some adults) that complain “Oh we don’t get paid enough” and “Oh this job is just to hard for me” I am so confused by. Yes I could go get a job that pays more, but I’m 90% sure I would hate it. I’ve been a manager and I’ve worked in a wearhouse and call center. I have hated each of those jobs and they stress me out.

After a year I have seen the ups and downs. For now I’m gonna stay and focus on building a future. Here’s to another 29 (or so) years.


Posted by on January 6, 2018 in Life, Work


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