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Stress to the point of sickness

It’s been a while.

It hasn’t been a while since I logged in. I have about 45 drafts sitting around. It’s been a while since I actually finished writing and actually posted something.

So let’s see what life has thrown at me.

1. My husband’s last day at his job he has had for six years is Thursday.

2. I had such a bad sinus infection I missed three days of work and might have to have surgery in six months.

3. I have to magically come up with the $800 for daycare April 1 and our loans won’t come in till at least April 12.

4. I have come to realize the friends I had before having a child have all but disappeared.

So where does this leave me. I am so stress about not having the money for bills that I can’t sleep at night. I’m living off of coffee and energy drinks. I have no one that I can sit down and talk to besides my two year old and my husband who happen to be the two people I live with so go figure. My house looks like a disaster area (not really but I have OCD so to me it does). I’ll probably write more now since this is pretty much the only way I have to get how I’m feeling out before it consumes me and I become depressed. I will do everything in my power before I let that happen and put my daughter and Husband threw that.

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2018 in Family, Friends, home, Life, Married Life

 

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Double Standards

Nothing is ever equal

One is expected to pay their own way

One gets everything handed to them

One suffers with nothing

One has everything

One must walk

One gets a ride

One must fight to move forward

One slides on by

One gets more because of what’s between their legs

One gets none

One begs for food

One throws it away

One is judged for who they love

One loves who they want

One is looked down on because of color

One gets a free ride because of theirs

One is hated because of nationality

One is loved and does nothing

One is hated because of their beliefs

One is praised, but believes in hate

Double standards are a part of us. They are inside of everyone. We may not show it, we may not say it, but every single one of us has been hurt by it or has done it ourselves. Whether we like it or not it’s how we are raised. All we do is move forward and educate the next generation on having an open mind and maybe, just maybe there will be a little less

DOUBLE STANDARDS

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2017 in Life

 

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Scared

So I’m sitting here waiting on a ride to work and I realize I’m scared. I spent the weekend sitting at home feeling anxious the whole time. Something is wrong and I don’t know what it is. I know I’m scared. Scared I can’t make this work. Scared I’m gonna fail school. Scared I’m gonna fail at life. I am 28 years old just married, just started school, just moved to a new town and in scared. My family is not here my best friend is not here. There are so many things I wanna bitch about so many things I wanna say and I can’t cause I’m so damn scared.

 
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Posted by on October 2, 2012 in New to this world

 

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